Every Jew remains a Jew no matter how far he has strayed from traditional Judaism, and we always stand ready to help any Jew to learn more about our sacred heritage, no matter what his personal affiliations. But joining or working together with movements and rabbis who have falsified our Torah's precepts and have created new philosophies and laws that distort all that we hold sacred and dear, remains strictly forbidden, no matter how pure and noble the motive. For respected Orthodox rabbis in the Five Towns or anywhere else to lend recognition to clergymen who do not recognize the eternity of the Written and Oral Torah is tragic and heartbreaking. Is it not enough that the Reform and Conservative leadership is determined to shatter Torah observance in Israel? Dare we give them recognition in our own communities?

A group of prominent local rabbis has recently issued a plea to the organizers and participants to cease and desist lending a hand to the terrible chillul Shem Shamayim. In the interest of peace and unity, let's hope all respond to their call.

Rabbi Eli Teitelbaum

Young lady, you were disturbed that the term "stuck" was used to describe the dilemma of a mother juggling to do homework with children on three different grade levels. You felt that a Jewish mother should feel privileged to have a family of children with whom to do homework and should not feel "burdened" or G-d forbid "stuck" with her household duties. You went on to remind school-age children that studying for school was their responsibility and that they should not gripe about it. When you were a student you managed, so what is the big deal? As a matter a fact you even managed to help your mother with household chores. How wonderful! How noble!

It is quite obvious that you are not yet married and of course not dealing with supper burning, phones and bells ringing, the toddler in the high chair choking on a piece of apple and the first grader asking for the fifth time, "Is 'mother' is spelled with an 'o' or an 'a'? Is it the same for 'father' too?" It is okay that you do not experience this scenario on a daily basis - yet, anyway. I understand your naivete. My big question is, why are you judging those mothers who are indeed overwhelmed while trying their hardest to maintain a cool stance and still save some energy for their husband, who comes home after supper, tired and hungry? Please, I advise you, do not judge someone until you are in his shoes. Besides, feeling exhausted, tired and overwhelmed is not a sin. Every drop of sweat, every diaper change, every homework session, becomes a merit upon which more merits and s'char are built. Feeling tired and doing it anyway is the ticket to Gan Eden. Admitting that one is human is not a sin; it is a humble confession.

Once upon a time, I was just like you, young and very idealistic. I was teaching in a preschool and cared immensely about my students, so much so that I often thought I loved them more than their mothers did. If the mothers did indeed care about them as much as I, I thought, why didn't they send daily mitzvah notes to be read and hung on the mitzvah tree? What's so hard about remembering to send "washed out" orange juice containers for arts and crafts on Monday and unbreakable jars for homemade grape juice on Friday? What about those negligent mothers who never sent a penny for tzedakah? What audacity for them to claim that they love their child! They should see the disappointment on the face of the child as he/she sat with watering eyes watching the other children drop the pennies into the tzedakah box one at a time. Many a time, when there were children who NEVER brought in anything, I would secretly write my own mitzvah notes for them or quietly give them pennies so that they too could feel as if they were part of the class. And I harbored feelings of resentment and disappointment toward their parents.

Then one day I got married and had children who went to school, and then I understood. Suddenly I had questions for the teacher: Doesn't she realize I have to get three little kids out at the same time? How am I supposed to remember that one child needs a "Shehakol snack," another needs a signed permission note to go to the zoo and still a third needs every single homework sheet and test signed? I also need to wash milk containers for the kindergarten child, and the bus is already honking. I am so nervous and so resentful of the teacher for asking me for mitzvah notes, tzedakah money, containers, jars, empty toilet paper rolls and soda caps for the Chanukah menorah on a constant basis. Doesn't she have children? Perhaps schools should have a policy of hiring only teachers who are mothers as well. Then I wouldn't feel guilty for having forgotten to send a white pillowcase for the Pesach arts and crafts project after the third notice.

So, dear young lady, thanks for responding to my article ... but wait until you get married and have to do homework with three children on three different grade levels. Then please write to me again.

Sincerely,
Rachel Schmidt, RCSW

I would like to warn people - especially young girls and women - NEVER to accept rides from people they do not know.

I was once waiting at the 50th Street and 16th Avenue bus stop on a winter evening. I was late for my college class and very cold. A yeshivish looking young man with an infant seat in the back seat of his car stopped and offered me a ride. The infant seat convinced me, and I gratefully accepted.

He started asking me about my year in Israel, then steered the conversation to Eilat. His voice sounded funny. We were at Avenue J and Coney Island when suddenly he got a strange look in his eyes. Without going into details, I soon realized I had made a huge mistake.

Extremely nervous and afraid he might restrain me if he realized what I was doing, I quickly opened my seat belt with one hand, the lock and door with the other, and got out of there as fast as I could.

Baruch Hashem physically I was okay, but I was shaken up for quite a while after that. I agree that if you see a person you know at the bus stop, you shouldn't just wave and keep going. You should stop and offer the person a ride. But just as children are told not to speak to strangers, we adults should be wary of strangers and should NOT accept rides from, or offer rides to, strangers.

Sincerely,
D.S.
Flatbush

I don't have a car, and I need to do a lot of walking. Everybody can see that I'm a Jew because I wear the Chassidish levush, but many drivers pass right by and don't even stop to ask me where I am going - even when it's raining or snowing!

If people would just know what big mitzvah it is to help out another Jew, they would do so. Most of them probably were never in my position and don't realize what a favor they would be doing.

S.S.
B.P.

Dear S.S.,
How long DOES it take for your shtreimel to dry?
CY

Well, I just reviewed the chapter about Chanukah in the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch, and strangely enough it doesn't say a word about Chanukah being a time for giving. The Sefer Ha'Todaah says, "The word Chanukah is from the root chinuch, referring to educating children in Torah. For this reason there is a widespread custom of parents giving money to their children, with the message being: 'These gifts that you receive today are in order for you to accept the ol Torah forever.'"

Once again, that's parents giving money to children for chinuch purposes. All other Chanukah gift giving seems to be a direct influence from the Christian holiday that takes place at the same time.

Mrs. Y. Homnick
B.P.

Dear Mrs. Y.,
In that case I'm returning the chandelier I bought you for Chanukah.
CY

Journalists, you might agree, can be quite persuasive by sheer force of argument. The Chasam Sofer al HaTorah, Parshas B'shalach (Sh'mos 13:17) says, "... And the B'nei Yisroel went up from Mitzrayim [well] armed." He furthermore states, in part, "We must always be cautious in regard to the honor due nations and their officials under whose protection we enjoy a place of refuge, who are benevolent and who grant us all manner of good" (from a translation).

I found the essay entitled "Politicians - It's No Joke" by Rabbi Rafael G. Grossman, Honorary President of the Rabbinical Council of America, to be most compelling. I am enclosing it in the hope that you will too.

Sincerely
Yosef Teitelbaum

Heshy Walfish replies:

Dear Yosef,
I read Rabbi Grossman's essay (published in the September 29, 2000 issue of the Jewish Press). His point, which I thought was well taken, was that it was wrong, and ultimately destructive, to hold elected officials up to ridicule. His point, however, was in the context of making them fodder for late-night comics on television; making crude and cruel jokes at their expense.

This - where it is merely gratuitous (while it can be funny) - I agree, fosters an attitude of disrespect toward those who, after all is said and done, are the ones we chose to represent us.

I do not, however, agree that our elected officials are beyond criticism. Believe me when I say that my take on the Clintons and Gore/Lieberman is no joking matter. These people have acted abonimably and brought disgrace and dishonor on themselves, our Country, and ultimately on us. Their behavior not only invites disparagement - it absolutely demands it.

Country Yossi, I'm surprised you published this response as if it is a legitimate argument, when actually it is filled with exaggerated situations and bitter comments. Don't give credence to lackadaisical Jews who don't appreciate the extent to which a mitzvah can go, because that can start a trend that will undermine our motivation toward perfection.

I also don't understand why you must put a joke after each Let's Shmooze submission. These submissions make good and important points, especially the one entitled "Mitzvos Fallen by the Bus Stop" in the November issue. Giving people rides is an important and serious mitzvah that is connected to hachnassas orchim, and you go and spoil it by trying to be funny. Don't be a "moshav leitzim" publication. You have a page for jokes; leave it there. Keep sacred what is, and you will be providing a wonderful service.

Anonymous
Flatbush

Dear Anonymous,
Did you hear the one about the rabbi at the bus stop ...?
CY

I sat down to read it, with my daughter leaning over my shoulder. I was laughing and chuckling at the hilarious stories of chupahs gone awry, when suddenly I stopped laughing. Right there on the page was a very familiar story - the story of my older daughter's wedding!

That's right. The story of the kallah Naomi whose mother set her gown on fire and activated the sprinkler system .... That was MY Naomi. And I was the klutzy mother who started it all.

I did not find it funny, therefore, to see my most humiliating moment spelled out in black and white for all the world to see. Until I read it again, together with my daughter. Suddenly the humor of the situation hit us, and, for the first time ever, we actually sat back and laughed out loud at the whole ridiculous incident.

Thank you for helping me laugh at myself.

Gratefully,
Esther K.
Jerusalem

Dear Esther,
And thank YOU for giving us what to laugh at.
CY

First of all, I'd like to say that the article was really, really funny and really, really well-written. I enjoyed it immensely, as I always enjoy the interesting and humorous articles in every issue.

Second of all, I'd like to tell you about another Chupah horror story - one that happened to me at my own wedding. My chupah was about to begin, with the red carpet stretched out and all the guests seated quietly, when suddenly a skinny gray mouse appeared out of nowhere and proceeded to march down the aisle! All the guests (and not only the women, I should say) started screaming and jumping up onto their chairs to escape the ugly creature. It took 20 minutes to restore calm.

Keep up the great work with your wonderful magazine ...

M.M.
Williamsburg

Dear M.M.,
What song did it march down to?
CY

I would, however, like to share with your reading audience a true wedding horror story from which we can really glean a lesson. This past August a young bride passed out during the dancing part of her wedding. The situation was crucial and Hatzolah had to be called in. The bride was led away on a stretcher with a diagnosis of severe dehydration and was taken to the hospital, where she was put on intravenous for three hours.

The town's Rav was consulted, and he vehemently advised that the wedding should continue without the chosson knowing what had just happened to his kallah. The Rav then sat in the yichud room and recited all of Tehillim three times consecutively, shedding rivers of tears and beseeching Hashem to return the kallah to her wedding and her chosson.

Baruch Hashem, after three hours the kallah returned and was able to participate in the mitzvah tantz. (Luckily this was a chassidishe wedding and there was a mitzvah tantz!)

The lesson I learn from this incident is that the chosson and kallah have to take it a bit easier at their own weddings. After all, the mitzvah is to dance "lifnei hakallah" and not WITH the kallah. Just think! The bride and groom have just finished their personal Yom Kippur and are going through a roller coaster of emotions. The temperature in the wedding hall is usually too high, and the bridal gown is always heavy, and layered underneath with yards of petticoat. And the dancing is non-stop ... This could send anybody to the emergency room!

I've heard that lately it has become a trend among the brides that they wear sneakers to their weddings so they can dance the night away. How absurd! Dear brides, just wear dainty satin shoes, dance less, and please, by all means, DON'T "chalish"!

Yours sincerely,
A Concerned Wedding Guest
Montreal

Thanks,
M.B.
Monsey

Dear M.B.,
Sorry! Can't help you. But if you find some cards, I'll trade you 100 Mickey Mantles for one Reb Moshe!
CY

Annoyed Jewish Musician
B.P.

Dear Annoyed,
You know, you're right! Send us one of YOUR albums, and we promise to review it as critically as possible.
CY

Even if you do not have little kids, pass this one on to everyone you can think of. You never know whom you might save! Please take the time and show this to any friend who has children or grandchildren, or to anyone who knows children.

I want to share something that happened at Sam's Club while I was shopping there one day. A woman near me was leaning over, looking for meat, and she turned around to find her 4-year-old daughter Katie missing. She started calling her daughter's name, with no luck.

We asked a Sam's Club employee to announce over the loudspeaker that we were looking for Katie. He immediately walked to a nearby phone and called in a "Code Adam." Within seconds, store employees had locked all the doors and gates of the store. This took all of three minutes from when the woman noticed that Katie was missing.

They found the little girl five minutes later in a bathroom stall. Her head was half shaved, and she was dressed in her underwear with a bag of clothes, a razor and a wig sitting on the floor beside her. Some psycho had taken the little girl, brought her into the bathroom, shaved half her head and undressed her - in a matter of less than 10 minutes.

This makes me shake to no end. Please keep a close eye on your kids when in big places where it's easy for you to get separated. Another five minutes and Katie would have been out the door ... I am still in shock that some sick person could do this, let alone in a matter of minutes.

Little Katie is now fine. Thank God for fast workers who didn't take any chances.

"Code Adam," by the way, is named after the son of John Walsh of the TV show "America's Most Wanted." Adam Walsh was abducted from the toy section of a store in Florida and murdered.

BE SURE TO SHOW THIS TO EVERYONE SO THAT EVERYONE KNOWS JUST HOW SICK PEOPLE ARE OUT THERE!

Thank you,
Sarah S.
Baltimore

I received a telephone call last evening from an individual identifying himself as an AT&T service technician who was conducting a test on telephone lines. He stated that to complete the test I should touch nine (9), zero (0), the pound sign (#), and then hang up.

Luckily I was suspicious and refused. Upon contacting the telephone company, I was informed that by pushing 90#, you give the requesting individual full access to your telephone line, which enables him to place long distance calls billed to your home phone number. I was further informed that this scam has been originated from many local jails/prisons.

I have also verified this information with UCB Telecom, Pacific Bell, MCI, Bell Atlantic and GTE. Please beware: DO NOT press 90# for ANYONE. The GTE Security Department requested that I share this information with EVERYONE I KNOW.

PLEASE pass this on to everyone YOU know. If you have mailing lists and/or newsletters from organizations you are connected with, I encourage you to pass on this information to them too.

Please let your friends know.

Thanks,
Norris W. Commodore
Director, Contracts & Negotiations Group
IBM Global Financing

Please let me know.

Thanx,
L.A. Kinda Guy
Los Angeles