The Americans were united in wiping out the Indians and in putting together a 50-state union. The Meat Heads went to civil war over the issue of slavery. And what was the American reaction to Harry Truman's dumping not one but TWO atom bombs on Japan? "Harry showed 'em! Hooray, Harry!" The Opposition Party didn't scream, "Mishpat l'Harry! Harry rotzeach." Truman executed "collective punishment," killing 100,000 "innocent" civilians, and the American Meat Heads applauded!

Now let's go to Israel, where we are witnessing the "Falafel Brain Phenomenon." It starts with a Jew who for years learns no Torah, violates the Shabbos and ignores the existence of Hashem. This brings about an "empty headedness." There is an empty space where the holy brain once was. Now the most popular and cheap sandwich in Israel is the falafel, and it seems the balls are traveling upward to fill that empty space. In some instances, as in the case of Prime Minister Ehud Barak, the falafel balls actually spin around in the empty head in a "magnetic field effect." This causes him to flinch and sway from side to side as he pronounces preposterous statements like "If the P.A. continues its aggression, we will know what to do!" As he continues to do NOTHING for weeks, we must take this to mean, "We will know we must swim after we dive into the sea!"

As the falafel balls spin in his empty head, Barak has been tagged as "Mr. Zigzag." One day he says, "We will NOT negotiate until the violence stops"; the next day he announces his NEW offer to the Palestinians. One day he gives the Arabs an ultimatum, and after the shooting continues, he says, "We must form a National Unity Government," and the next day he makes a deal with the Shas party to hold up his sinking ship for one more month.

And now he says, "If it's new elections you want, then let's do it!"

After Shabbos during these terrible times, all the frum Yidden run to the radio to hear news about the latest violence. Imagine our shock when the headline story was, "This afternoon [Shabbos] Ehud Barak met with his new campaign managers to plan the strategy for the upcoming elections, after which they all went to a falafel restaurant in a northern Israeli Arab village." There, before the TV cameras, a smiling Barak gave a lesson in falafel eating, first swooping the pita bread through a rich, thick humus paste. "I want all of Israel to start coming again, to support the Israeli Arabs and to buy their falafels. I know you all became frightened by the violent Rosh Hashana demonstrations, but now, as you all can see, it's VERY safe," he stated, surrounded by about seven soldiers, each brandishing a mini Uzi machine gun!

By the way, not a single Arab journalist came to cover this event, and the Arab reaction was, "Barak disgraced us! We don't need him to eat falafel by us; we need MONEY for construction, for education and for social services!"

And the news that followed this report was the usual, "More shooting everywhere in the territories, firebombs, rocks, roadside bombs, etc. ..."

So now we approach Chanukah, and the big mitzvah is to eat sufganiyot (jelly donuts). Light candles or don't, but those jelly donuts are a MUST!

Can't you just picture the Rosh Falafel Brain Hamemshalah in a live television message to Christian Arabs (their holiday coincides with Chanukah) and to Muslim Arabs (the end of the Ramadan month of fasting coincides with Chanukah) with a tantalizing, steaming jelly donut in his hand, saying, "To my dear peace partners, when I bite into the jelly donut and the red jelly oozes out and drips to the ground, I will feel your pain and remember the innocent Arab blood that has been spilled in the 'cycle of violence.'" His implication will be clear: "Support me in the upcoming elections, or you'll end up negotiating with a Falafel Brain named Netanyahu!"

A freilichen Chanukah, and by the way, I am on the radio daily in Israel, and anyone with access to the Internet can hear my program Saturday night through Wednesday night, 12:30 until 2:00, at www.mikolalev.co.il.